Please Don't Ask Me to Forgive You! A Radical Approach to Healing Infidelity and Other Interpersonal Wounds



VIRTUAL SEMINAR |  December 8, 2020, 1 - 4:15 p.m. ET
Instructor: Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., ABPP
CEs: 3 CEs for social workers and pyschologists are available for $5 fee 
Level: Intermediate

We’re all struggling to forgive someone: an unfaithful partner, an alcoholic parent, an ungrateful child. We've been taught that forgiveness is good for us, and good people forgive. But when faced with significant interpersonal ruptures, many people find forgiveness to be too generous and disingenuous. They’re left hating and hurting.

In this course, you’ll learn a radical, new alternative to forgiveness – a profound, life-affirming, healing process called acceptance which allows you to make peace with your past without forgiving an unrepentant offender. You’ll learn how to de-shame the injury, release your bitter preoccupation with its injustice, restore a sense of dignity and forge an appropriate relationship with the offender ranging from complete cut off to full engagement.

Genuine Forgiveness will be reframed as an intimate dance, a hard-won transaction which asks as much of the offender as it does of the hurt party. Concrete steps to earn forgiveness will be spelled out.

This workshop invites you to participate in an experience designed to help you or your patients rise above a violation, repair the rupture within, and consider forgiving the person who hurt you. For those of you who have wronged someone else, it will offer you concrete steps for earning that person’s forgiveness – and perhaps your own.

Target Audience: 

Social workers and other social service providers

Course Delivery Method, Format and Instructor Interaction:

Synchronous, interactive virtual seminar with discussion and Q/A ​

System Requirements:

Attendees will need access to a computer with working camera and microphone. All courses are offered using Zoom conferencing software and login information is sent shortly after registration. 

Registration Fees and Deadlines:

Early registration by October 16, 2020: $60
Regular registration by December 6, 2020: $75

CEs: 3 CEs for social workers and pyschologists are available for $5 fee 

Learning Objectives:

  1. Describe how to challenge popular assumptions about what it means to forgive;
  2. Explain how to provide hurt parties with a radical, new alternative which allows them to become physically and spiritually healthy -- without forgiving an unapologetic offender;
  3. List specific, concrete guidelines for helping offenders earn forgiveness and for helping hurt parties foster forgiveness

  • 1-1:45 p.m. Cheap Forgiveness: A Dysfunctional Response to Interpersonal Injury
  • 1:45-2:30 p.m. Refusing to Forgive: Another Dysfunctional Response 
  • 2:30-2:40 p.m. Break
  • 2:40-3:30 p.m. Acceptance: A Radical Response to Heal the Self
  • 3:30-4:15 p.m. Genuine Forgiveness​

About the Instructor:

Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., ABPP, is a recipient of the CPA’s Award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology and the CAMFT’s Award for Distinguished Family Service. Author of the best-selling After the Affair (now in its third edition), How Can I Forgive You?, and Life with Pop, she has been in private practice in Westport, CT, for 43 years, and has served as a clinical supervisor in the department of psychology at Yale.

Completion Requirements for Virtual Seminars

Virtual Seminars (referred to as live interactive webinars by ASWB) are live, synchronous, online courses held in Zoom meetings. To receive a CE certificate, you must attend the entirety of the virtual seminar. Partial credit will not be awarded to those who attend only a portion of the virtual seminar. For virtual seminars, participant attendance is tracked through Zoom, students are engaged throughout the online class utilizing their camera and/or microphone and participants must complete an evaluation. A link to the online evaluation will be emailed to participants within 24 hours of the conclusion of the course. It is attendee’s responsibility to contact their state licensing board/certification boards to determine eligibility to meet continuing education requirements.

How Will a CE Certificate Be Awarded?

Upon completing the evaluation for the virtual seminar, participants will be emailed their online certificate​ within 30 days of seminar completion​. ​Participants should save and/or print ​the certificate upon receipt for ​their records. Receiving the CE certificate is contingent on attendance and completion of the evaluation.

Continuing Education Credits and Accreditation

Social Work CE Credit: The Smith College School for Social Work, provider #1755, is approved to offer social work continuing education by the Association of Social Work Boards (ASWB) Approved Continuing Education (ACE) program. Organizations, not individual courses, are approved as ACE providers. State and provincial regulatory boards have the final authority to determine whether an individual course may be accepted for continuing education credit. The Smith College School for Social Work maintains responsibility for this course. ACE provider approval period: 11/19/2020-11/19-2021. Social workers completing this course receive 3 continuing education credits. 

The Smith College School for Social Work is accredited by the Council on Social Work Education and is therefore authorized to provide CEs as a postsecondary institution accredited by CSWE in many states. Courses offered through the School's Program of Professional Education are awarded continuing education credits in accordance with Continuing Education Regulation 258, CMR, 31.00 in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Smith College School for Social Work, Office of Professional Education SW OPE is recognized by the New York State Education Department's State Board for Social Work as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed social workers #0169. If outside these states, please contact your licensing board for accreditation information regarding your state. Association of Social Work Boards database of social work licensure requirements.

Psychology CE Credit: Co-sponsored training events for psychology CE credit with Smith College School for Social Work. Amego Prepare​ is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. Amego Prepare maintains responsibility for this program and its content. Due to changes in continuing education requirements for NY licensed psychologists, APA CE Sponsor credits may not be accepted for re-licensure at this time. Please check the NY Psychology Board regulations for CE requirements currently in effect.

Further information on policies and CE accreditation can be found here.

Mary Curtin | Manager of Professional Education

Lilly Hall, 23 West Street, Northampton MA 01062 | 413.585.7970